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Trying

News Orders progress Rant setbacks

It's not really my MO to... come out in public and babble on about my personal problems like anxiety and depression and numerous issues which have made thriving in life exceedingly difficult for me, mainly because I don't think anyone actually cares about that stuff. I'm sure a lot of people actually do care and may even be inclined to cut me slack that I may or may not deserve on account of me baring myself and being so honest, but I am a cynic who imagines that if someone comes out in public bleating about their personal life, it is for the express purpose of eliciting sympathy, which - to me - is a really underhanded sales tactic. 

But of course I know I'm bent and paranoid, and most people who do exactly what I'm doing right now probably aren't trying to get anything out of it other than the catharsis of screaming into the void and having people scream back. 

Anyway, I'm just... up to my eyeballs in things that need to be done and I keep STARTING things and then getting derailed for some insipid reason or another. Like there being no plumbing or electrical outlets in the garage, all of my stuff is mostly still in boxes. I have a work queue about a mile long now, and my brain keeps coming up with new things to sidetrack me and then I end up down some rabbit hole. 

I guess the takeaway here is... I think there's a very strong possibility that I have some kind of crippling executive function disorder or something, I don't know, call it ADHD or something. I hate... that I'm either completely 1000% hyper focused and organized or I'm... sitting at my desk surrounded by trash with my junk all over the place without any real inkling of what I'm even supposed to be doing. My world is either in complete absolute order or it's in shambles. 

 

...but I'm trying. I don't know how many times I'll be able to say "I appreciate your patience" before people get fed up and demand their money back but I'll say it at least one more time. 

 

I appreciate your patience. And thank you. 


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